8 Sex Positions for Married Couples Who Want to Heat Up Their Regular Sex Routine
For when you're a little bored and veeeeeeery comfortable around each other.
There are tons of perks to being in a long-term relationship. You have a go-to person for everything, someone to vent to at the end of a long day, and someone who knows all your likes, dislikes, and quirks, so you can be your fullest, weirdest self around them always. But another, less-talked-about perk of being together forever? All the low-stress, highly satisfying, long-term relationship sex you get to have. You know exactly how to touch each other for maximum pleasure, have a roster of reliable routs to orgasm, and chances are, neither of you really cares if one (or both!) of you is wearing your period panties.
But sexually satisfied couples aren’t just relying on the same favorite position and predictable routine every time, says certified couples therapist Laura Silverstein, LCSW, author of Love Is an Action Verb. Bringing new experiences into the bedroom, like the sex positions for married couples we’ve outlined below, can help keep your sex life feeling fresh and exciting over the long haul.
“According to a 2016 study by Chapman University, there are six secrets to long-term sexual satisfaction: communication, mood-setting, sexual variety, oral sex, orgasm, and sex frequency. These six factors are interconnected, but communication (both verbal and nonverbal) is the most important factor in spicing up your bedroom,” says Silverstein.
What does that mean, you ask? Good q: Just that you should prioritize vocalizing your needs and speaking up when you want to try something new—even if it’s a little more adventurous than what you’re used to, and even if you’re a little nervous to bring it up. (Which, hi! Completely normal!)
“Just because you’ve been living with someone for decades doesn’t mean that it’s easy to let them know you want to try something new. Many couples struggle with initiating due to a fear of rejection, judgment, or concern about their partner’s reaction,” says Silverstein.
But, yet another perk of being together forever is the trust you’ve built. The bedroom should be a guilt- and shame-free zone, so ideally, you should be able to rest assured that your partner won’t (and shouldn’t!) judge you for wanting to experiment. At the end of the day, sex is an ongoing conversation, and anything new that you bring into the bedroom should start with just that: A conversation.
Still nervous? Keep things light, flirty, and positive. “Talk about what you like, not what you don’t like, and what new things you want to try instead of what isn't working,” says Silverstein. Maybe your partner wants to try the same things but they’re afraid of how you’ll react! “You’ll never know if you don’t try,” she says.
When you’re ready to dive into that ~something~ new, grab your lover and try these on for size.
The Lap Dance
Seat your partner in a chair and give them a sexy lap dance. “When we first enter into relationships, we may find that we are too inhibited to let ourselves try something vulnerable, like a performative lap dance with our partner. But as we become more intimate and trusting, it can be easier to let go and try something new like this,” says Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of sex shop Early to Bed. You can also flip the script and ask them to dance for you.
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The Messy Kitchen
Something as simple as getting your asses out of bed can generate some new ideas. “Taking the action into the kitchen can be an excellent departure from your normal sex,” says Deysach. The receiver hops up onto the counter or a table while their partner stands to attend to them. “Stay close to the fridge and add some sexy food items into the mix like honey, whipped cream or chocolate sauce (just be sure to keep sugar far from any vaginas).”
I'll Show You mine
“Mutual masturbation can be an awesome way for couples to connect and learn about each other. It requires a lot of trust to allow someone to see how you like to pleasure yourself,” says Deysach. “This position—where you are sitting across from each other, legs intertwined but far enough away from each other to see everything—is a great choice for people in a long-term relationship who are ready to show off their self-pleasure routine.” The best news? It works with either hands or toys.
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The Tight End
If doggy style is one of your faves, you can make it so much better with the easiest thing ever—just press your legs firmly together. Your partner puts their legs outside of yours and gets in there real tight and close. Do a few Kegels to match their thrusts for bonus vaginal superpowers.
Froggie Style
Still digging doggy? Okay, then try this: Get up on your feet and squat over their penis or strap-on. They can thrust up and you can bounce up and down. Whenever squatting is involved, it's not gonna be super romantic or graceful, but this is deliciously animalistic and shows off your butt from an entirely new angle.
The Love Boat
For lots of romantic eye contact plus easier orgasms, have your partner sit on the bed, leaning back onto their hands. Facing them, you get on their lap, slide their penis or strap-on into you, then carefully lean back as well. Lift your feet onto their shoulders and find a sweet rhythm that works for both of you. It takes a little extra time to get situated, but it's so worth it, especially when you figure out how easy it is to get a hand or toy on your clit.
The L-Train
Lie on your side and lift your upper leg so you're making a L-shape with your body. Your partner gets on their knees and straddles your lower leg. Why? New angle = a whole new way of feeling each other. Plus, if P-in-V doesn't quite do it for you, you can press your clit against their thigh for more stimulation or just reach down and rub yourself however you want. And if you're not that damn flexible, just put your upper leg wherever it wants to go.
Raise The Roof
The bridge position in yoga is not only good for your butt and abs, but is an amazing way to angle yourself for perfectly-aimed internal stimulation. You know the drill: Get on your back, then lift your hips to the sky. Your partner enters kneeling. Fill their hand with a dollop of lube and let them rub you as they thrust, or have them hold a vibrator down. Namaste.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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