13 Pegging Sex Positions You Need to Try ASAP
Not usually the penetrating partner? Don’t worry—here’s how to take control and feel ahhhmazing doing it.
If you’ve never heard of pegging, allow us to fill you in. Essentially, it’s when someone wears a strap-on and penetrates their partner anally. The term originally referred to a woman penetrating a man, but anyone can peg their partner with these pegging positions and the right store-bought peen.
Part of what makes pegging so sexy is the role-reversal of it all, especially when a person with a vagina gets to take control and be the one to penetrate their penis-having partner. “Strap-on play can be wonderfully sexy, a mind-blowing role reversal, a source of sexual self-esteem, and prostate play!” says Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist at Good Vibes. And if the receiving partner has never experienced what prostate stimulation feels like, well, they’re in for a real treat. A well-stimulated prostate can produce truly epic orgasms, and if you’re the cause of such eruptions, all the better.
But first, some safety tips. If you’re penetrating someone anally for the first time, be highly attentive to your partner’s reactions. “Any anal needs to involve three things above all: Relaxation, lubrication, and communication,” says Queen. “Communication means that you negotiate together, of course; ‘Eek that dildo looks too big,’ ‘slower please,’ etc. But it also means the person being penetrated must guide their partner, especially as they learn anal skill and get comfortable. The person being penetrated is always in charge.”
Use a literal butt-load of lube, choosing one specifically designed for anal play. Sex educator Rebecca Blanton, aka Auntie Vice, cohost of the Fat Chicks on Top podcast, recommends getting a big bottle with a pump for easy access. “Adding a lube-shooter will also help get enough lube in the right place.”
And don’t forget about hygiene! “An anal douche is great for cleanup. Use warm (not hot!) water and fill your bum. Hold for a few seconds and then release. When the water run clears, you are good to go! Wash the outside (and only the outside) with a mild body soap and rinse well.”
Ready to go? Here, pegging variations for both beginners and masters of the ~dildo-ic~ arts.
The Classic
If you're both turned on by consensual power play, The Classic is the way to go. Your partner is bent over in a submissive position as you enter from behind. This one is also great for consensual spanking if the vibes are right!
SHOP NOW Saffron Strap-On Harness, $41, Good Vibes
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Spoons, Butt Style
“This side-by-side position is a P-in-V classic and it works great for anal,” says Queen. “Both partners can relax, the front partner can masturbate or enjoy a reach-around, and it's slower and more sensual than a lot of positions because lying on your side doesn't lend itself to pile-driving.” If your partner is a bit skittish about a super realistic penis, start with a dildo that's non-dick-like and has a nice little curve.
SHOP NOW Limba Flex Dildo, $65, Good Vibes
SHOP NOW SpareParts Joque Harness, 138, Good Vibres
The Adaptive Peg
“People who don't have a ton of physical stamina or have achy joints may need some support for thrusting. Use some assistive devices!” recommends Blanton. In the Adaptive Peg, the receiver uses a sex sling to hold their legs up and take pressure off the lower back. “This allows either partner to masturbate while pegging, an extra bonus! And the face-to-face contact can increase the intimacy and help the pegging partner keep track of how the receptive partner is feeling," says Blanton.
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The Cowpoke
“Like in cowgirl, this one begins with the harness-wearer on their back and the pegged person kneeling over them face-to-face. They can lower themselves onto the dildo and control the depth and speed of thrusting—it's a great intermediate position,” says Queen. “Plus, eye contact, kissing, dirty talk, all the fun extras.”
SHOP NOW Silicone Pegging Probe, $23, Babeland
SHOP NOW Lush Strap-On, $40, Babeland
The First Timer
Have your partner get into doggy with their face and arms down on the bed. If you're going in anally, go incredibly slowly, letting them guide how deeply you go. (It can take a super long time for your partner to relax. This is COMPLETELY normal. Be patient!) “Any position where the pegged partner needs to hold the position will increase muscle tension and make it harder to relax, which is particularly significant when doing anal, where relaxation is extra-crucial. Using sex furniture (or sturdy home furnishings—this is what a nice stable ottoman is for!) is a great addition to this kind of pose,” says Queen
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The Starter Gun
A seated position is another good beginner position because your partner can control how much is going on, backdoor-wise. It's also one of the more romantic pegging positions because it's super conducive to gazing into each other's eyes and sharing deep kisses. It’s also great for angling yourself towards sensitive spots. “Most prostates are 2.5-3.5 inches into the anus up toward the belly button. For people with vaginas, at the same depth, you can press the interior anal wall up toward the belly button and hit the innermost hot spots,” says Blanton.
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The Strap-On Stroke
If you're on top, you can watch how your partner is taking it all, plus they have their hands free to masturbate as you thrust. Go ahead and join them. If you don't have a harness with a spot for a bullet, go ahead and jam one down the front—the harness will hold it in place. (Note: Sometimes people with a penis go soft when they're penetrated—not because they are not enjoying the hell out of it but because, biology. Others get super hard. Again, biology. Check in with your partner to see how they're feeling.)
SHOP NOW Tracey Cox Supersex Strap-On Pegging Kit (4 Piece), $70, Lovehoney.com
Miss Bossy Pants
If you're feeling extra bossy, pop some comfy pillows on a desk or table, bend your partner over it and tell them to hold on tight. You might need to bind their wrists to make your point. Enter from behind and hike a leg up on the table for leverage (and also just to feel like a bad-ass.) But before you go all in, toy with them a little first. Touch them, kiss them, play with them. Don't let them have you until they're begging.
SHOP NOW Unisex Strap-On Harness Briefs, $35, Lovehoney
SHOP NOW Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 5.5 Inch, $15, Lovehoney
The Daring Dip
Have your partner lie flat on their belly, with arms over their head. Squat over them and go to town. You'll be on tiptoe, bracing your hands on the ground or their back. For more stimulation, they can hump their hand or a toy.
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Watch and Learn
Sit on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide and lube up your silicone boner, letting your partner watch. Have your back up until they're sitting on your lap. They can control how deep they go and you can also generously give them a reacharound. If you sit on a nice buzzy vibe at the same time, you will both be moaning in about two seconds.
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Going on a Bender
This a good beginner pose because it's easy to see where you need to go, but take things slowly. “Even when a partner has a fantasy about pegging, the reality can be different than expected. Start by gently touching them around the perineum and bum on the outside. Lube up a finger and gently insert, letting your partner guide how deep you go. It’s a good idea to stop and let the bum get comfortable around your finger before going deeper,” says Blanton.
SHOP NOW New Comers Strap-On and Dildo Set, $50, Adam & Eve
The Steamy Strap-On
The shower offers the general sexiness of soapy slipperiness plus the distinct advantage of immediate clean-up afterwards. The keys to a successful wet peg are making sure everyone is holding onto something sturdy and being 8 billion percent certain that all your equipment is safe for water use—aka submersible and not just splash-proof. And yeah, you still need lots of lube. “Since most dildos are silicone, a silicone lube is not always a good choice, so this might be the time to try a coconut oil-based lube,” says Queen. “The other thing? Negotiate who stands in the spray. Water in the face is an acquired kink.
SHOP NOW Lifelike Lover Realistic Pleasures Strap-On Dildo Kit (8 Piece), $70, Lovehoney
Reverse Cowboy
In this position—kind of a reverse-reverse cowgirl—your partner gets to control how fast and deep they take your silicone love. They'll also have a free hand or two to rub themselves as they ride you. Caveat: no stimulation happening for you here—except, you know, the joy of blowing someone's mind—so pop in a nice little vibe so you're not just lying there staring at their (happy) ass
SHOP NOW Sophia's Red Rider Harness and G-Spot Dildo, $28, Pinkcherry
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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