Pregnancy comes with many, er, adjustments to your daily life, including but not limited to: surprise puking, excessively pouring over What to Expect When You’re Expecting, random cravings, downloading every pregnancy app on the App Store, and of course, figuring out how to have safe sex while pregnant. That last one can be especially nerve-racking. Should you even be having sex when you’re pregnant? Can pregnancy sex positions hurt the baby?! Is it safe to use a vibrator?!?! SOS.
Take a seat, put your feet up (swollen ankles = another one of the fun new pregnancy things you might experience), and let’s figure this all out, shall we? According to ob-gyn Claudia Pastorelli Mosca, medical advisor at Flo Health Inc., many pregnant couples tend to have concerns about having sex during pregnancy, hurting the baby, or causing any problems during the pregnancy, which is all very fair. But worry not—sex, including vaginal-penetration, is usually safe, she says.
“Think of the uterus as an upside-down soda bottle, where the womb is the larger part, and the cervix is the neck and cap of the bottle, which is sealed. The penis won't touch the baby during penetration because there is protection,” says Pastorelli Mosca. “On top of that, the baby is surrounded by amniotic fluid and the strong walls of the uterus, which naturally cushions the baby, protecting them against light contacts, such as from the penis during sex.”
However, there are a few caveats. If you have complications like placental problems or are at risk of preterm labor, you might have to abstain from sex, says Pastorelli Mosca. That might mean all sex—even the kind where you spend a few minutes alone with a friendly clit vibrator. “In some cases like preterm labor, even non-penetrative sex that still leads to orgasms can be harmful, as it can provoke uterine contractions. It is also not recommended to have sex before checking with a healthcare professional when unexplained vaginal bleeding occurs," she says.
The bottom line? Check with your doctor about your specific situation, but if you don’t have any complications and aren’t having any new symptoms like bleeding or pain, you are free to sex it up during all three trimesters of your pregnancy. (Including—phew!—sex with vibrators.)
This is excellent news because, hello, your pregnancy hormones could be making you way hornier than usual. “Pregnancy causes an increase in vaginal secretions, breast sensitivity, and increased blood flow in the pelvic region,” says director of perinatal services at NYC Health and Hospitals/Lincoln, Kecia Gaither, MD, MPH, FACOG, double board-certified in ob-gyn and maternal fetal medicine. (On the other hand, you might find that you’re the exact opposite and declare yourself a “No Touching” zone. Pregnancy sex feels different to everyone. All valid.)
There are tons of ways to capitalize on this surge in horniness and make pregnancy sex even better! You can use sex wedges and pillows for support, and toys to get to newly-hard-to-reach body parts. Do whatever you want and need to feel sexy and comfy, and ride those horny hormones with these safe, expert-approved pregnancy sex positions for each trimester.
First Trimester
“During the first trimester, it’s normal to still be getting used to the concept of an actual human being growing inside of you. Don’t worry, you are not going to hurt the baby… For those that tend to be a bit conservative in their sexual escapades, missionary style is a safe position at this point in pregnancy,” said ob-gyn Dr. Angela Jones.
Depth Perception
Generally, sex shouldn’t be painful, whether you’re pregnant or not. But if it’s something you struggle with (and your doctor has told you sex is still safe), controlling the depth of penetration can help, suggests author of Sex Without Pain: A Self Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve, Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, who specializes in treating women who suffer from painful sex. Penis bumpers can limit depth of penetration, and you can add as many or few as you need. Try them during chair sex, because sex sitting down while your partner does most of the work? You deserve!
Look, Here It Is
The Bridge position from yoga can double as a first trimester move. You plant your feet on the bed and lift your pelvis, then your partner kneels to enter, holding onto your thighs. “It may soon become uncomfortable to lie on your back for an extended period of time, so take advantage of sex on your back while you can!” says chief medical officer at Seven Starling, Amy Roskin, MD, JD.
Propped Missionary
Gather up some pillows or invest in a sex wedge to prop up your back and hips in missionary. The wee angle change can make a big difference. “Propped missionary allows for deeper but more comfortable penetration as the uterus is growing,” says pelvic pain specialist Sonia Bahlani, MD.
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Edge of the Bed
Another back position? Yes—because you (still) can! Scoot your butt to the edge of the bed, then lie back with bent knees. Your partner can penetrate via penis or strap-on, kneel down for oral, or ply you with toys and/or fingers. This position works for any trimester, but if you try it in later months, prop a pillow under one side of you so you’re not lying completely flat, says head gynecologist at VSPOT, Monica Grover, DO, MS.
Safety Scissors
“This gentle move promotes shallow penetration, making the overall experience comfortable for you and your penetrating partner (who might be terrified their penis or strap-on will poke the baby’s head). With all the blood flow directed to your clitoris, grinding your pelvis against your partner will feel even better than usual,” says says resident certified sex therapist at SexualAlpha, Aliyah Moore, PhD. “This position is also perfect for couples who want to engage in sexual activity without penetration, allowing full-on stimulation of the labia and clitoris.”
Missionary
If you're nearing the end of the first trimester and going with regular missionary, just notice how your body feels about it. “Some women feel more nauseous on their backs,” says ob-gyn Heather Bartos MD, founder of the ME Spot Movement. "And as some women get bigger, they feel too much pressure on their abdomen.”
Hold My Waist, Honey
Sex standing up allows for shallower penetration and less pressure on the belly. “Place your palms on a sturdy wall, hold a grounding stance, and then ask your partner to hold your waist, and enter you from behind. For clitoral stimulation, have your partner hold a vibrator and place it on your clit. To reduce falls, don’t stand on anything,” recommends licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist Janet Brito, PhD, supervisor at the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health in Honolulu, Hawaii.
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Standing Stroker
Lean gently forward against a table or (sturdy!) chair while your partner enters you from behind. Have your partner simultaneously reach around to stroke your breasts while they thrust in and out. (This can feel really good if your nips are particularly sensitive these days. Ask your partner to be gentle!)
Second Trimester
“In the second trimester, the pregnancy will push you to be a bit more creative. It is not recommended to lie flat on your back beyond the 16th week of pregnancy due to the weight of the uterus on the vasculature or blood supply that supplies not only the uterus, but the rest of the body," Jones says. Not to worry! "This is where you can be a bit more creative…. This includes sex from a side position, the woman-on-top, or sex from behind."
The Pillow Bang
If you are pregnant, someone will most likely give you a nursing pillow—a C-shaped cushion that comes in handy later if you're nursing. For now, use it off-label. Lie on top of it, carefully fitting your bump inside the C part so you're not putting your weight on your belly, while your partner enters from behind.
Facing Spoons
“The second trimester presents with rapid growth and stretching of the ligaments that hold up the uterus,” says pH-D feminine health advisor Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG, FACOG, and that stretching can cause some discomfort or pain. This is to be expected, so try not to worry too much, but also, talk to your doc! (Today’s motto!) When it comes to sex during this trimester, you’re going to want to try positions that will feel comfy and help you relieve discomfort, so lie on the side that hurts to take the pressure off. Penetration when you’re on your side can feel great and super intimate if you and your partner are into passionate eye-gazing.
The Lap of Love
Hop up on your partner’s lap for both kisses and as much fuckery as you can handle. “Chair sex is well-suited to pregnancy because it doesn’t put extra pressure on your belly,” says Roskin. Adjust according to comfort and belly size, and pls, use a sturdy chair. (Or better yet, do this on the couch.)
Hot Seat
“Sit on a chair or the edge of the bed facing away and lower yourself down on your penetrating partner. Find an angle that both of you feel the most comfortable with, then guide your partner’s hands to explore and stimulate your erogenous zones like your sensitive breasts and clit,” says Moore. “If you want to make things more intimate and sexy, consider doing this move in front of a mirror. Plus, use sex toys on yourself or your partner.”
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Tilt-A-Whirl
Bartos polled 50 of her patients and the winner for “maximum aesthetics and functionality” was—ta-da!— doggy style. Why? Not only does it create the feeling of a natural waist again, it also takes pressure off the growing uterus, per Bartos. Plus, "some women felt the tilt of the uterus provided more pleasure,” Bartos reported.
T-Position
This is like spooning, but the back spoon is a bit more horizontal, explains Bartos. “This has the benefit of aesthetics (for lack of a better word) and functionality, as the partner can reach around and externally stimulate the partner (or she could self-stimulate),” Bartos adds.
Third Trimester (Almost There!)
“Any position that takes stress off your back—doggy style, sex from the side, woman-on-top, facing your partner or reverse—are all great options for the third trimester. Keep in mind, sex is more than penetrative. Pay attention to massaging the vulva and perineum, as these are hot spots!” Jones says.
The Spooning Y
In the Spooning Y, you’re both lying on your sides, but the pregnant person angles themselves forward while the penetrating partner enters from behind, bending slightly backwards to give the receiving partner some space and air. If you’re the pregnant one, you can just lie there (which, during pregnancy, is hugely appealing) or use your hands to caress your hot spots. That C-shaped pillow from before could also be helpful here, to support your belly!
Pillow Dog
Just because you’re capital-P pregnant by now, doesn’t mean you can’t have super-hot and intense sex. Certified sex coach and clinical sexologist Georgia Rose, who recommends doggy style with a big stack of pillows supporting your belly. “Swelling and heaviness is very common in the third trimester, so sex in this period should be all about comfort for the pregnant person.”
Late-Term Lotus
The ancient Lotus position is just good in general, but also works well in the third trimester. Give it a try and see if your body is into it. “Some people find deep penetrative sex less comfortable in the third trimester, so you should definitely adjust your activity accordingly,” says Roskin.
Cowgirl’s Helper
Good news: You can still do cowgirl! Just prop some pillows under your knees to keep pressure off your uterus and cervix. If penetration still feels too deep, add more pillows. “This is a good position to avoid any pressure against the cervix, which is really important to prevent premature contractions/labor in the third trimester,” says Grover.
The Side Eye
“In this trimester, the uterus reaches its maximum capacity, not leaving a lot of room for other organs,” says Greenleaf. Try a version of doggy where the penetrating partner has one leg between your legs and the other draped over your hips. “This position will take the pressure of the uterus off the back and vagina,” she says. It also prevents really deep penetration, which, even though your baby won’t feel, your cervix can.
Spooning For You
“Spooning is an intimate and soothing position that allows for more sensual, slower, and shallower penetrations," says Moore. Again, you can spice this up by using sex toys like vibrators. Just make sure that you keep your toys extra clean before and after using them.”
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Touchy Touchy
“During your third trimester, go outside of the box, and try Sensate Focus Touch (aka mindful touch) as you may find that penetration is uncomfortable,” recommends Brito. Sensate Focus is basically setting aside the time to touch each other—either sexually or not—and just really focus on the sensations. “Sensate Focus gives you the opportunity to explore each other’s bodies without the pressure to perform, but instead to be open and curious to learn about each other’s bodies and appreciate the changes,” Brito adds.
Outer Limits
“If penetration is uncomfortable, I recommend outercourse, or non-penetrative sexual activities, like making out naked, kissing, grinding, mutual masturbation, or oral sex,” Brito suggests. Try covering yourselves with a sh*t-ton of lube and going in for some mutual masturbation.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
