24 Romantic Sex Positions That’ll Slow Things Down and Boost Your Intimacy
Prepare to gaze longingly into each other’s eyes (in, like, the most non-cheesy, ultra-romantic way possible).
No matter how your bodies end up arranged, the most romantic and intimate sex positions have one thing in common: You’re both completely locked into the experience.
One way to get there is by slowing everything way down. If you do that, any position can become more romantic and intimate says Cosmo columnist Zachary Zane, LGBTQ+ expert for Lovehoney. “All too often, there's a focus on hard and fast sex! While that can be very pleasurable, when you slow it down and really take time to feel every part of your partner, you can make the sexual experience more intense and romantic.”
The most intimate sex positions also help you feel closer by getting you, well, physically closer. Think: positions that allow for a lot of body contact and friction. “When more of your skin is touching theirs, positions feels more intimate,” says Zane, who also recommends lots of kissing and eye contact.
It also helps to create time together that’s just for the two of you. “When I work with couples, it's always important to discuss how they approach romance together,” says clinical sexologist and sex coach Georgia Rose. “I encourage them to be present, mindful and intentional about romantic time.” Stash your phones, light some candles, open up the sex room—whatever works for you!
Romantic sex can mean whatever you want—the point is to connect with your partner on a deeper level. “Often doing less is much more romantic and intimate than having penetrative sex,” says Rose. A session of dedicated oral? A solid cuddle? All legit. If it helps you feel closer, do it.
Without further ado, behold: 24 romantic sex positions waiting to be swooned over. You’re welcome!
The Double Blind
Yes, eye contact is huge for romantic sex, but…so is mutual blindfolding. You’ll be extra-focused on how your partner is touching you, but also more attuned to how they feel/sound/smell/taste to you. Whether you move it to oral, penetrative, or mutual hand jobs, really notice the sensory things happening— the scent of your partner’s neck, the taste of a drop of pre-cum, or the particular way they moan. So. Hot.
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The Throwback
Remember how insanely hot early make-out sessions were? Lots of awkward and ill-formed pawing, yes, but also that sort of desperate grinding against each other where you just…wanted. Recreate it with a fully clothed make-out session and revel/suffer in that feeling of wanting each other so damn much. You can end up fully naked or go all in with the outercourse, whether that’s a toy pressed against jeans or an old-timey dry hump.
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The Melting Hug
For a really deep feeling of connection, try a tantric bonding exercise called the Melting Hug. “Undress yourselves very slowly in front of one another and then wrap yourselves in a long, full-body embrace (standing up only) for 10-15 minutes, breathing in unison,” says Rose. “It’s a deeply bonding practice that helps relax partners into a sexual and erotic space together.” This can lead to something or be the something—it’s that intense.
The Rocking Horse
For a romanced-up version of cowgirl, have the bottom person sit straight up, leaning back on a wall or headboard for support. Press your upper bodies together (see above: “Get really close,” check ✅) for ample kissing (check ✅), eye contact (check ✅) and caressing (well, that’s just always good). “The rocking motion of the top partner is great for stimulating the vulva, but if you love clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex, a c-shaped vibrator or vibrating penis ring work really well in this position,” says certified sexpert Isabelle Uren, writer at Bedbible.com.
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The Lotus of Love
This classic Tantric position is pretty much the *it* position for romance. “This is, IMO, the all-time greatest intimate position, with tons of opportunity for kissing, talking, eye contact and upper body contact,” says staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, Carol Queen, PhD, curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum. Once you’re situated on your partner’s lap, just rock slowly, gazing at each other and basking in the sexiness.
The Lovers Embrace
It’s easy, super intimate, and sexy AF. “Think missionary but on your side,” says dominatrix Ruby Payne, sex expert at adult toy retailer UberKinky. You lie facing each other, entwining yourselves however your bodies fit together. “The key to this one is to move together in a rhythm.” Good for holding each other tightly, lots of eye contract and, if you want to press a wee bullet vibe in there, nobody’s stopping you. 👀
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The Lap Dance
A lap dance is not just super hot, it also can be super intimate. “Take some time to kiss, caress and gaze into one another’s eyes as you straddle them,” says sex and relationship expert, Jess O'Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. “Face-to-face positions may be more appealing if you feel eye contact creates a stronger connection and deepens feelings of intimacy. Slow your breath and breathe. You can experience physiological synchronization and the shared movement and flow can help you to tune into the moment, which can lead to heightened pleasure and intimacy.”
Synchronized Missionary
Missionary is all kinds of amazing, especially if you personalize it. Try wrapping your legs around your partner, recommends polyamorous cannabis activist Tiana GlittersaurusRex, co-founder of The Sex Work Survival Guide, a non-profit organization advocating for sex workers. “I also love to grab their ass and be a part of the same movements they're making."
The Big Quiet Spoon
“It's a spooning position where the front partner controls all movements with regard to speed, depth, and movement while the rear partner stays still,” says O'Reilly. “Abstaining from movement and allowing your partner to take control, with open communication and checking in, can create both an erotic and connected experience.” Yes, please.
Slow 69
Get rid of the rushed multi-tasking that can be 69 by slowing it way down. You'll have plenty of time to focus on the feel and taste of your partner while letting your arousal build up slowly and organically. Give oral at one-half, or one-fourth speed to make extra sure nobody's rushing and don't let each other have an orgasm until it becomes (almost) unbearable.
The Focus Group
Gazing into each other's eyes is instantly bonding and can feel incredibly intimate. Try touching yourselves while just watching each other's eyes. Instead of closing your eyes as you orgasm, keep looking into your partner's eyes—it can be a deeply intense experience.
As You Wish
Set aside an evening for one of you to be completely pampered. The giver lavishes their complete attention on the receiver—via massage, mouth, hands and toys—expecting nothing in return. (If the giver gets way too turned on or whatever, they can jerk off after—but only after—the other person is beyond fully pleased.) If you're the one doing the pampering, prep ahead of time by setting out candles, really nice lube, and a toy or two they might like. Send your partner a photo of your bedside table filled with what awaits them. If you are the pampered one, let yourself fully enjoy your partner's touch—you are not allowed to reciprocate, so it's a great exercise in just relaxing and receiving.
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The Couch Rocker
For a super intimate position that's also totally comfortable, have your partner sit on the arm of the couch. Sit on their lap, facing them, with your feet on the seat cushion. Rock gently while hugging them tight. Look into their eyes during and it's like a magic love potion.
The Sweet Course
Go ahead and treat yourselves to a candlelit home-cooked meal. Afterwards, sit on the edge of the table, spread your legs, and drizzle a trail of chocolate syrup up your inner thigh. Lie back onto the table so they can lick their way up your leg. Put a little dollop on your clit (not inside!) and let them lick little circles around it. After, return the favor, because you're good like that.
The Binge-Worthy
Lock the door, turn out the lights, and get naked under a cozy blanket for a night of Netflix. Be the little spoon and enjoy the couple snuggliness. Randomly press your bum against them until both of y'all are too turned on and need to press “pause.” Your partner slides in from behind while their leg is wrapped around your hips—you don't even need to leave the couch. For a tighter feel, straighten your legs and press your legs together. Rub clit as needed.
Bed Fort Bondage
Throw the covers over your heads so you're in your own little bed fort. Lie them on their back, pinning their wrists above their head. Get on top of them, then carefully slide so you're laying flat on top of them with your legs between theirs. The angle makes its easier to rub your clit on their pubic bone, and if your partner has a penis, the shallow thrusts will keep them lasting longer. Trying to really kiss during sex can feel bouncy and awkward—like two ships grazing past each other in the night—so focus on telling each other how you feel to amp up the romance. Things like, "I love the way you make me feel," and "It's amazing when you go slow and deep," can set a very sexy mood.
Saucy Spoons
Lie on your side with your partner behind you so you're both facing the same direction. Push your butt toward them as they enter you. Put your hand on theirs and show them how you want your clitoris to be touched. Have them alternate between touching you there and your breasts. Commence swooning, etc.
The Soft Rock
Lay down on your back and have your partner lay on top, placing their arms on either side of your shoulders. Their body should be flat against yours. With your legs touching theirs, push your pelvis up about two inc
hes. Your partner should push down gently, providing a little counter-resistance. Instead of the usual in-and-out of thrusting, rock up and down. The rhythm feels sultry and irresistible.
The Tight Squeeze
Lie down on your stomach and keep your legs straight but slightly spread. Rest your arms by your side, or stretch them out in front of you. Have your partner stretch their body over yours, resting on their palms or elbows so they don't place all their weight on you. They position their legs outside yours. As they enter you, close your legs and cross them at the ankles. This take on doggy-style sex feels way more intimate and pulls you physically closer together.
Jump and Grind
Is there anything more romantic than leap-into-their-arms, gotta-have-it-right-this-damn-minute sex? Standing-sex can be complicated, but there are a few hacks for getting it right. You can start standing on a raised surface like a chair to make the lift easier. Once you're comfortably snug in your partner's arms, they can push your back up against a wall to lessen the pressure and deepen their thrusts. Win-win.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
Korin Miller is a freelance writer who lives by the beach. She has big hopes to own a teacup pig and taco truck one day.
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