The Best Gay Sex Positions for Maximum Pleasure, Right This Way…

Sex between men doesn’t mean all anal, all the time. Gay sex positions can be about mutual masturbation, blowjobs, tantric massage—whatever floats your boat. “It doesn’t require penetration each time, or at all,” says AASECT certified sex therapist Lyndsey Murray, owner of Relationship Matters Therapy. “This is a heteronormative structure that is wrongfully applied to gay male relationships and speaks to the fact that sex is so much more than penetration than we like to believe.”

That said, there’s a reason anal sex is so popular. It offers the feeling of penetration (whether you’re the giver or the receiver), as well as the glories of prostate stimulation—aka: the walnut-sized gland on the upper wall of the anus. “When the prostate gets touched or massaged, the partner bottoming (being penetrated) will want to be penetrated even more, and the orgasm will be intense,” says psychotherapist Lee Phillips, a certified sex and couples therapist (CSCT). "You can also work towards a P-gasm by using your finger or firing up a prostate massage toy.”

As with all butt stuff, get a big tub of anal-friendly lube and use it liberally. “When having anal sex, lube is not optional. (Spit may be hot, but it doesn't cut it!),” says Cosmo columnist Zachary Zane, LGBTQ+ expert for Lovehoney. “Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. You typically want to use a thicker, long-lasting, silicone-based lube when having anal sex. (You have to re-apply water-based lubes often, and no one wants to stop having sex repeatedly to re-apply lube.)”

If you’re into toys and/or you’re partner-free, there are tons of penis- and prostate-specific sex toys including masturbation sleeves or strokers, cock rings, cock ring/prostate stim combo toys, and ye olde butt plugs. “Glass toys such as glass butt plugs or glass dildos are great because they’re slick, comfortable, and allow for sexual stimulation through heat and cold,” says Phillips.

Whatever you do, the usual rules apply. “Sex is all about communication,” says Phillips. “Before trying a new position, easing into it can really maximize the pleasure. What happens in the bedroom is different from what we see in porn or in the media. Speak up when something hurts, tickles, or it is unpleasant in some other way. The goal here is to get creative and curious about your partner.”

Here are some positions to really make it hot.