14 St. Patrick’s Day Sex Positions That’ll Truly Top Your Morning
(Leprechaun costume optional but highly encouraged, ofc.)
If you associate celebrating St. Patrick’s Day with green beer vomit and long, cold lines to get into your local pub, just know: There is a better way, and clothing is optional. Yes, this is your sign to try out some new St. Patrick’s day sex positions—and if you have no one to practice with, here are some St. Patrick’s Day pickup lines. Luck of the Irish be with ye.
“If there’s one thing we can agree on about St Patrick’s Day, it’s that this holiday is wild, loud, messy, fun and guaranteed to get you saying ‘The craic was ninety’ (aka: “this is a really great time,” for those unfamiliar),” says love, sex, and relationships coach Steph Morris. “Take the energy of the holiday into the bedroom with fun ways of bringing newness and adventure into your intimacy.”
Newness and adventure can mean whatever you want it to mean. Maybe it’s time to bust out some sexy green lingerie, or to kink up the old tradition of getting pinched for not wearing green. “Don’t pinch-proof yourself in the bedroom. Instead, play around with pain play during your next session and see where the experience takes you,” suggests certified sexologist and founder of Bloomi, Rebecca Alvarez Story. And remember: It doesn’t have to be super hard core. “It can look like gentle biting of the ears, lightly scraping your fingernails along your partner’s back, or firmly squeezing your partner’s nipples.” (And if it gets too intense, don’t be afraid to speak up!)
You can also stay pain-free and just mix up some glam Irish cocktails and pop on an Irish music playlist—all completely legit ways to get in a celebratory mood, too.
However you decide get in the holiday spirit, these St. Patrick’s Day sex positions will help you really celebrate the day.
The Irish Feast
Ditch the corned beef and create your own feast on each other. “Grab some of your favorite St. Patrick’s Day treats, whether that’s Guinness, green Jell-O shots, Tayto crisps or Lucky Charms,” says Morris. “Think of different textures, temperatures, smells, flavors and toys, to create a sensory and delicious experience. Lick, suck, taste, paint, and play with your items and your partner's body and experiment in new ways.” When you’ve had your fill, you might be feeling a little lazy, so go ahead and get some toys going.
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The St. Patrick's Day Parade
Sit your partner down in front of a mirror for a special St. Patrick’s Day lap dance. “They can look but can’t touch, yet, while you embody your wild inner leprechaun (in a sexy way) to move for them, stroke them, and give them a private St. Paddy’s Day parade,” says Morris. Give them a ~little~ bit of control by handing them the control to a remote toy so they can watch you play with yourself.
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The Lucky Galway Girl
To look for the end of the rainbow that is a nipplegasm, try this: “Have your partner kiss one breast while they use their hand on the other. Ask them to do exactly what they do in oral to your nipple!” says Morris. “Start a grinding motion on their body and have them place four fingers around the back of your neck with their thumb gently pressing on your jugular vein. This isn’t choking, you can still breathe normally.” (Do not forget the "lightly" part, please! Actual choking can be very dangerous if you're not experienced in BDSM!) “Focus on deep, slow breathing, feeling every sensation in your body and you’ll enter a state of full surrender to the pleasure and to your partner.”
The Cead Mile Failte
Show your partner exactly what “Cead Mile Failte” means (it’s Irish Gaelic for “one hundred thousand welcomes”) by getting on your back for them and pressing your feet against their chest. “This position allows the giver to press against the receiver's feet and allows the receiver to carefully control just how deep and close the giver gets. For an added punch, a towel, belt, or yoga strap around the giver's hips can give the receiver even more control. Make it green to fit the theme!” says Jessica Brophy, kink and communication specialist at OhCleo!.
The Luck of the Irish
“This is a twist on reverse cowgirl, and we know how that is oh so good…” says Christina Pocaressi, director at Tabu Toys. Lean all the way down, supporting yourself on your elbows (if your body goes that way!). “This position allows for a slow, rocking motion rather than powerful thrusting. Think sensual and intimate, with you in control. Pro tip–69 would be the perfect tantalizer to this play, then slide down toward their legs when you’re ready!” says Pocaressi.
The Over the Rainbow 69
Looking for a more accessible (or decently comfortable) version of 69? “A go-to position as a fat queer body is a 69 base with the top person off to the side on their knees,” says Lark Lekät, a certified sex educator and accessibility advocate. “It has less of the feeling of being stuck and it’s great for folks who want to bend, move and get deep with oral, fingers or toys.” (This would be an excellent time to bust out toys that mimic the feel of oral sex.)
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The Lucky Charm
Charm or be charmed with a remote control toy. Pick one that works via app and the sexual tormenting can be in-person or on a long-distance date. You can also get two and bring each other to the edge of orgasm as much as y'all can stand it. It's kinda like playing a video game, but with someone else's orgasm.
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The St. Paddy's Day Challenge
Give yourself a new and tricky position to master with a wheelbarrow/headstand combo that provides a new angle and deep penetration—if you can get your ass up there. Get into doggy style, then your partner stands and lifts your legs up like you're about to enter a wheelbarrow race. Bend your elbows down and rest them on a pillow so you don't break yourself.
The Over The Rainbow
Bondage for St. Patrick's Day? Why the f not? One partner is bound so their ankles and wrists are tied together and the other person can tease them with toys, hands, mouth, some D—whatever works!
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The Kiss Me, I’m Irish
This one's easy: One of you points to where you want to be kissed, and the other obliges. Take your time and really explore where it might be really good to be kissed. That is, don’t just point at your groin immediately. Wait till you’re covered with kisses, then point at your groin.
The Shamrock Shake
Lead your partner to the pot of gold with an extra-special reach-around. Mix up the way you touch them—stroke more vigorously than you normally would, like if you were shaking a martini, then stop and slow it way down. Repeat the cycle, trying to keep them near the edge of orgasm for as long as you’d like.
The Pot o’ Gold
For a different sensation during penetration, lie on your side alongside the edge of your bed. Your partner stands beside the bed to enter. (Elevate yourself with pillows if the height’s not working.) Press your legs together for a tighter feel. Rub your clit to make it even betterrrrr.
The Four-Leaf Clover
Bring luck to a vulva near you (possibly your own) with this move: two thumbs pressed against the top wall of the vagina, two fingers sliding on either side of the clit. Both hands move together for delicious dual sensation. Bonus lucky charms for leaning down and adding some oral.
The Corkscrew
This twisty position gives you the benefits of missionary (eye contact, you get to lie down) with the swooningly deep penetration that is doggy-style. Lie on your left side, leaning onto your elbow. Your partner hugs your left leg while you curl your right leg around their right side, and they penetrate.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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