The Piledriver Sex Position Is the Challenge Your Sex Life Is Craving

If you’ve spent any time at all watching porn, you may have seen the WTF, do-body-parts-really-bend-like-that? sex position that is the Piledriver. It’s not for the faint of heart and requires lots of flexibility and stamina from those who dare to partake. But once you get the hang of it (and ofc, if you’re able to bend that way, because hi, not everyone is, and that’s okay!), it can be a fun challenge to incorporate into your bedroom repertoire when you want to mix things up.

“The Piledriver position is one of those positions I put into the Cool, I know it exists, but do I really need to try it? category. The answer is, of course not,” says sex educator Rebecca Blanton (aka Auntie Vice), co-host of the Fat Chicks on Top podcast.

It’s important to remember that not all sex positions are created equal. Some are tried and true classics for a reason. The Piledriver is…not that, and you need to have a considerable amount of physical strength to pull it off. “People doing it in porn scenes have been trained to do it, and may be considered trained athletes in this regard,” says LELO sexpert Laurie Mintz, PhD, author of Becoming Cliterate. “It's really not a position that focuses on pleasure, and in reality, it’s not going to be pleasant or even comfortable, let alone the risk of injury.”

Additionally, it can also, erm, hurt (and not in the good, kinky way), if you’re not able to do it properly. “If you have a history of back or neck problems, do not attempt this position,” says dominatrix Ruby Payne, sex expert at adult toy retailer UberKinky.

If you’re looking for a position that’s going to give you tons of easy orgasms, you might want to try something a little more tried and true, like missionary sex or cowgirl sex. “Pleasure is not the goal of the Piledriver,” says Aliyah Moore, PhD, resident certified sex therapist at SexualAlpha. The main pleasure is psychological, because you know you’re doing something really kinky and hot, even though it’s hard. “Although you’re not getting something physically pleasurable from this move, you might get aroused from trying something taboo or challenging,” says Moore.

The pleasure is in the challenge, so if you’re competitive, and you and your partner want to test yourselves, knowing you both have the stamina and strength to pull it off…go forth and conquer, my friends. Here are some tips for the Piledriver-curious:

Get some support

Whatever you need—sex pillows, safety helmets, ice packs—get. “Be careful—you can mess up your neck doing this one!” says staff sexologist at Good Vibrations Carol Queen, PhD, curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum, who recommends a sex wedge or, if you are sadly wedge-less, a rolled up towel. “Don't use anything that puts more of an angle on the neck. This is about supporting the shoulders at the point they leave the ground.”

Train for it

Even if you’ve got upper body strength, the Piledriver might still be tough, so you’re going to want to prep. “If you’re the partner on top, do your squats and wall sits,” says Blanton. “This position requires a lot of thigh and hip strength. For the partner on the bottom, practice the plow position in yoga until you can hold it comfortably for several minutes.”

If something feels uncomfortable, stop

Always true, but extra true with this position. If you don’t want to try the full-on Piledriver, try something Piledriver-adjacent. (If this is you, there are lots of Piledriver-ish variations below.)

Now that you’ve got all that written down, here’s how to actually do ~le Piledriver~. (Hold my hand, you’ve got this!)