If you’ve seen season 4 part 1 of You, then you’ve already seen the scene in episode 2 where Adam (played by Lukas Gage) steps into a closet, gets on his knees, and receives a golden shower from an employee. Yep—like, he puts on swimming goggles, takes off his clothes, and says “Piss on me” while a club staff member unbuckles his pants and does, in fact, pee on his face.
Call it piss play, water sports, or the aforementioned (and more widely known) golden shower—this fetish is nothing new. Remember when Carrie refused to pee on Bill Kelley (aka “the politician”) when he revealed his pee kink and offered to “dribble warm tea” on him instead? And lest we forget, in 2017, 10 days before his inauguration ceremony, a highly detailed 35-page dossier was published in full by BuzzFeed that revealed surprising allegations about then–president elect Donald Trump—including one that he hired “a number of prostitutes to perform a ‘golden showers’ (urination) show in front of him” at a hotel. Case in point: Some people are into urine! And it’s a fetish just like any other.
According to Samantha Manewitz, MSW, a sex therapist with the Institute for Sexual Education and Enlightenment who specializes in working with alt-sex and kink communities, “There are far more people who are interested in this sort of play than are willing to disclose it,” as is the case with any kink or fetish. As to the *why* behind it all? “Water sports can foster trust and intimacy,” she said. “There’s vulnerability both in having a partner pee in your presence and allowing yourself to be peed on. There is also something about exchanging bodily fluids in general that can be hot for some. The fact that it is ‘wrong’ and ‘dirty’ can be a turn-on in and of itself.”
Here’s what else you should know about golden showers, including how to experiment with it yourself if it excites you or your partner.
Why Are People Into Golden Showers?
Manewitz says there’s often “a component of dominance and submission in the act of peeing on a partner or having a partner pee on you.” It can be an effective way to get aroused if you’re turned on by the idea of “marking your territory,” says certified sex educator and Lovehoney sexpert Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd. But for some, golden showers are just a fetish that gets them aroused and they don’t have any interest in the power exchange aspect of urinating in front of a partner. “People being peed on may enjoy it because of the feeling and sensation that comes from it,” says Frye-Nekrasova.
Related Terms
What Are Some Ways to Engage in Golden Showers?
In addition to what you saw on You, golden showers can go beyond just peeing on someone’s face (although that’s one way to do it!). You can pee together in the shower, use a fluidproof blanket if you want to do it on the bed, or experiment with peeing on other parts of your consenting partner. “There are different ways to engage, from peeing directly on different body parts to peeing directly into someone’s mouth or into other orifices like the anus,” says Frye-Nekrasova.
Where Do I Start if I Want to Explore Piss Play?
The first thing you should do is get consent! You need this for any sex act, but “Are you interested in experimenting with water sports?” is probably a conversation best had before the foreplay kicks off, not in the heat of the moment. What’s hot to you might not be hot to your partner, because that’s just how interests work.
If your partner has never expressed any interest in golden showers or the kink has never come up in conversation, start by asking if they know what it is, says Frye-Nekrasova. If they don’t, offer some general information. “When you express your interest in wanting to try it, be honest about what excites you about it,” she says. If they’re not into it, don’t pressure them or push their boundaries. It can be an ongoing conversation, if they’re comfortable.
“See if there are other ways you can explore that with your partner that don’t require you to be peed on,” says Frye-Nekrasova. “Can you hold their genitals while they pee? Can you wear a full-body suit to cover the entire body and then be peed on?”
Consider how all of this might feel to both of you, and when you’re on the same page, make a plan and stick to it. Be sure you’re taking general cleanliness into account. Is this something you want to try out in the shower? In bed? On the floor? Sticking to the set plan ensures all the conditions of consent are being met and no one is surprised in a way they are utterly unprepared for.
Last but not least, be aware that urine isn’t exactly sterile, as the myth goes. Even before pee hits the surface of your skin, where bacteria lives, it contains bacteria that shouldn’t be consumed, and it should be kept away from any open cuts or scrapes you might have. Don’t freak out if some pee accidentally gets in your mouth, but don’t swallow it either.
The most important thing to remember when experimenting with golden showers is (just like with any other kink) to be respectful—of your partner’s boundaries, of your own, and of each other’s likes and dislikes. With mutual respect, open communication, and honesty, it can be fun to try new things! But it’s also okay to say no to something that doesn’t feel right. Trust your gut, practice patience, and communicate every step of the way until both your and your partner’s needs are met.
