Whether you’re a vanilla lover or a kink queen, chances are you’ve heard of squirting before. Between porn (the ethical kind, pls) and raunchy brunch convos, squirting during sex is becoming more commonly discussed, but that doesn’t really take away any of the lore surrounding the sexual act.
That’s because squirting is sort of like the Loch Ness monster of female sexuality. Some people swear it’s real, some people say it’s a conspiracy, and most people—even the believers—don’t really know what it is. To make it even more confusing, there actually isn’t a lot of data out there focused on squirting. Gotta love a good mystery, right?
But while there’s still some uncertainty surrounding squirting during sex, we’re learning more about the topic each and every day. Very simply, “Squirting is another name for ejaculation that comes from the urethral sponge/CUV (clitourethrovaginal) complex/female prostate,” explains sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand. Basically, it’s a gush (or trickle, or even just a few drops) of liquid that expels from the vagina during sex, oftentimes, but not always, in conjunction with an orgasm.
While it’s pretty clear that this happens—plenty of folks have experienced it IRL—one of the big debates centers around the actual liquid that comes out of the vagina. Even if you talk to doctors, some of their answers will vary from a hard "it’s pee” to “it’s definitely NOT pee,” which makes it even more baffling.
In an effort to clear up some of the confusion, we spoke with sex experts to uncover what squirting is, why it happens, and how to do it if you’re interested in experiencing a little bit of waterworks for yourself.
What is squirting?
The answer is…complicated. There’s not a lot of scientific data out there surrounding how squirting happens, but despite this, Elaine Ayers, PhD, an assistant professor of museum studies at NYU, previously told Cosmopolitan that there is millennia's-worth of evidence pointing to the fact that some women can, in fact, squirt. She said if you go way back, there are mentions of squirting from the fifth century BCE, when a Greek text inaccurately stated that women’s “semen” was also necessary for conception. In 1672, a Dutch physician was the first to describe the “female prostate.” Then in 1905, Sigmund Freud suggested that “abnormal” secretions of the vagina were linked to “hysteria”—y’know, the old term for female mental illness that was total bullshit.
Before you think these “secretions” are the same thing as vaginal lubrication (aka the wetness you feel when you’re aroused), let’s pump the breaks. “Vaginal lubrication secretes from the glands located in the vagina and around the vagina (Bartholin's glands), while squirting moves through the urethra (where we pee from),” Stewart explains.
So squirting is definitely A Thing, and a popular theory is that when some people with vaginas squirt, they release a fluid from the Skene’s glands, located on the upper wall of the vagina, down through the urethra. The fluid itself is a combination of urine and prostate fluid. How much of it is urine and how much of it is prostate fluid? Well, that’s where some controversy comes in.
Related terms:
Is squirting the same thing as peeing?
Unfortunately, there’s not a clear answer here. Oz Harmanli, MD, chief of urogynecology and reconstructive pelvic surgery at Yale Medicine, has reviewed the available research on squirting (of which there isn’t a lot), and his conclusion, as he previously told Cosmopolitan, is that the liquid that comes out is mostly urine mixed with some female ejaculate.
The reason being is that squirting fluid often contains “prostate-specific antigen,” aka a protein found in semen. This suggests that women have the ability to ejaculate sort of like how people with penises do. But Dr. Harmanli also added, “There is no gland or reservoir in the female body, other than the bladder, that can produce the amount of fluid released with squirting.”
While the act of squirting feels pretty different than peeing, squirting might also be orgasmic urinary incontinence—an involuntary release of the bladder during orgasm. As for why you might suddenly pee yourself during sex, there’s a more specific kind of urinary incontinence which is coital incontinence, or the inability to control your bladder during penetration or orgasm.
Again, there haven’t been a ton of studies on the subject (get on it, science!), but regardless of how much urine is actually in the fluid, many women argue that their orgasmic liquid looks and smells nothing like urine, and the action feels pretty different than plopping on the toilet for a pee. So while squirting might involve some urine, that doesn’t exactly mean it’s the same as peeing. You follow?
Why do people squirt?
Squirting is essentially the releasing of fluids built up in the urethral sponge, but Stewart thinks it goes beyond just that expulsion of liquid. She says it’s all about arousal, mindfulness, and relaxation working together.
“When we can relax, be vulnerable, breathe deeply, and are present, we have a better chance at helping our body to squirt,” she explains. “Stimulation can facilitate squirting and it doesn't have to be direct inner stimulation. If a person has strong pelvic floor muscles, they also have the capability of stimulating it from the inside and facilitating ejaculation that way, too.” Simply put, squirting can be a reaction to feeling really, really good.
Can everyone squirt?
Since squirting is a normal bodily function, Stewart says everyone with prostate or Skene's glands can do it, even those with XY chromosomes. “It's important to distinguish that this can happen on all bodies,” she explains. And nope—squirting isn’t the same as ejaculating for people with penises, but beyond that, Stewart says we don’t really know much about “male-bodied” squirting.
What we do know is that everyone has the ability to squirt, but that doesn’t mean everyone can do it. For many people, it takes practice and training to learn how to squirt, and that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s actually happening correctly. Porn star and fetish expert for GameLink, Casey Calvert, says that a lot of the time when you see people squirt in porn, they actually are just peeing.
“You can’t tell [it’s pee] unless the woman is really bad at her job and didn’t drink enough water and it’s really yellow,” she says. “The porn makers are very practical about it. If you get hired to do a squirting scene, they don’t really care what you’re doing, if you’re actually expressing the gland that creates the real squirt or if you’re peeing.” So it makes sense that sometimes squirting, like a lot of other things you see in porn, isn’t real.
It’s also a popular fetish, according to Calvert, which is why you see it a lot in porn. She theorizes that it’s big with men because they like to see tangible evidence (which is what happens when they orgasm) that a woman is coming.
How to squirt:
Learning how to squirt is tricky, and even Calvert says she can’t do it on command. It’s sort of like a magical phenomenon, and when it happens, it’s not always a gushing geyser. “I think focusing on, I want to make this huge fountain out of my vagina, is unrealistic,” she says. “It’s much more about the sensation and the feeling and the orgasm rather than how big of a puddle you make.”
That’s not to say there aren't tricks and tips you can try if you’re determined to squirt. First, Stewart says you need to carve out plenty of time to relax and get in the mood. A rushed session probably won’t yield those wet and wild results. She suggests taking the time to turn yourself on and focusing on your breath. “This helps you get present in your body, it allows you to relax the muscles and can facilitate stronger and more powerful orgasms.”
When you’re nice and aroused, both Stewart and Calvert say it’s time to reach for the toys. Oftentimes it’s easier to learn to squirt solo since you know your body and can really take the time to focus on yourself versus worrying about your partner.
Stewart says the Lovers Juicy G Dual Vibrator is a really good toy option since the dual stimulation hits both your internal and external hot spots, and it’s waterproof so clean-up is super simple. Hitting that internal wall could be the trick that gets you to gush. Another choice Calvert loves? The classic Magic Wand, which is pretty much the end-all-be-all of vibrators. This is an exclusively external stimulator, but it’s so powerful, there’s a solid chance it’ll get the job done. When you feel the orgasm approaching, bearing down on your pelvic floor muscles is usually the key to cause a squirt.
And tbh, even if you don’t squirt the first couple of times trying, practicing is half the fun. At the end of the day, whether you squirt or not, feeling good is what it's all about.
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women's Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she's not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she's likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
