Calling all those with vaginas: Allow me to introduce you to what’s called a yoni massage—a practice that could be the best method to help you reach Total Body Bliss and maybe even a couple of orgasms too.
If you’ve never heard of it, that’s totally okay because considering that a sensual rubdown for your vagina is not often talked about, most people aren’t familiar with the term either.
Think of it as a sensual, hands-on approach to meditation. It’s a practice that involves a mix of fingering, touching, and deep-breathing exercises—paying close attention to the labia, clitoris, and internal and external spots on the vulva. Let’s dive deeper into it, shall we?
What is a yoni massage?
First off, the word “yoni” means “vagina” in Sanskrit, which is a classical language in South Asia. Knowing the context of the word “yoni” lets you understand that a yoni massage is basically just a vagina massage.
Even more so, a yoni massage is a “tantric practice used to increase creativity in the sacral chakra (the energy that drives pleasure) and sensitivity in the vagina and vulva,” says healer Darlene Johnson, cofounder of Her Secret Garden. It can be done on your own or with the help of a partner you trust.
Johnson adds that while a yoni massage can end with an orgasm, it’s not the sole purpose behind the practice: “The yoni is viewed as a sacred space or divine portal. The goal behind the massage is not an orgasm but to connect to your own sexual pleasure. It is all about self-exploration, self-love, and freedom.”
Again, though, while the goal of a yoni massage may not be to orgasm, you can still reach it—multiple times too.
It’s also important to keep in mind that a yoni massage is not solely about massaging your vagina and vulva. You work through some breathing exercises simultaneously to really focus and get in touch with your body. In fact, yoni massages can also be used to release memories and energies held in the tissue.
The history of the yoni massage
According to the book Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy, by Michaela Riedl, the yoni massage is said to have first been developed by Annie Sprinkle and Joseph Kramer, who is the founder of the Erospirit Research Institute in California.
It was created in an attempt to “allow women to reconnect to their innermost core and deepest feminine nature” but also to allow women to embrace their sexuality. Especially since “long-held inhibitions in the West about sexuality and the shame and guilt associated with the sexual zones of the body have created deep-seated barriers that prevent individuals from fully expressing themselves,” Riedl writes.
The benefits of a yoni massage
Aside from the erotic aspect (which, again, is not necessarily the purpose or goal of a yoni massage), there are plenty of benefits to the practice. Here’s what certified sexologist at SexToyCollective.com Sarah Melancon, PhD, says a yoni massage can provide:
- It can help improve the mind-body relationship. By doing the breathing exercises and getting the massage, a person can fully discover what it is they love and what feels good. It also provides a moment to completely relax.
- It can deepen sexual pleasure. Because this is an erotic practice, a yoni massage will help you determine what exactly gets you off.
- It can help with emotional healing, particularly related to sexual problems or trauma. It is said that a lot of trauma, stress, and emotions bury themselves in the hip and pelvic area for those with vaginas. The good news is this massage could help you release all that pent-up emotion seamlessly.
- It could improve your sexual relationships. If you are doing this with a partner, a yoni massage is a great way for them to get to know your body. Plus, it makes for a perfect bonding experience where all your inhibitions will be down. Of course, though, like with every type of sex and erotic play, make sure to do this with a partner you trust and consent to.
How does a yoni massage work?
First off, anyone can give someone a yoni massage—whether it’s a partner, an actual healer and practitioner, or even yourself.
Just know that if you want to book a yoni massage through a specialist, it can be (1) hard to find someone and (2) pricey. Your best bet would be googling and calling local spa and massage centers to see what you can find.
But if you’d rather go the DIY route with yourself or a partner, you’ll want to first create a very comfortable environment with zero distractions. Maybe it’s making sure the temperature is just right in your bedroom, maybe it’s lighting some candles, maybe it’s playing some relaxing music, maybe it’s wearing lingerie, etc.
Do whatever is going to make you most relaxed, explains Johnson.
Next up, whether you’re the giver or receiver, you’ll want to make sure the vagina is fully aroused, says Melancon. This can take anywhere from 20 minutes to 45 minutes, which gives you plenty of time to watch porn, listen to audio porn, read sexy literotica, and/or take a sensual shower.
When you’re ready and all juiced up (sorry) for the massage massage, here is your step-by-step guide:
- Start with nongenital touching. Begin with massaging the abdomen, breasts, and nipples so you can allow the body to slowly heat up. Definitely use some oil or lotions to enhance the sensation.
- Slowly start massaging the thighs, then move in toward the inner thighs and later the outer and inner labia. After some stimulation, you should notice the labia becoming fuller and more sensitive.
- Begin circling the clitoris or moving the clitoral hood around as stimulation.
- Then slowly move toward internal stimulation.
- If doing internal stimulation, circle and massage the vaginal opening.
- Finally, if orgasm is the ultimate goal (although it doesn’t have to be), finger your internal or external pleasure spots to completion.
Now you may be thinking, Okay, but this just sounds a lot like masturbation, which, fair point. The difference here is that the receiver should be focusing on meditating and breathing during the entire process.
As the steps are being completed, the receiver should intentionally slow down their breath and notice where any tension is built, then breathe into it. You can learn more about helpful tantric breathing practices here.
Are there any pressure points to be aware of?
The yoni massage is as unique as you make it, so there really isn’t a guide that you need to follow. But as you’re paying close attention to the labia, vulva, vaginal opening, and clitoris, some of the pressure points you don’t want to forget about are nongenital areas, like the chest, neck, arms, or inner thighs.
